I've sort of been adopted by a group of guys...but not by choice. I go to the cafeteria every day, and every day I sit at a table by myself and read a book while I eat. And almost every day, these same guys show up about half way through my meal and basically force me into joining them at their table. Their names are Jon, John, Geoff, and Jeff. (Confusing, I know. Even more confusing: Jon and Geoff are roommates, and so are John and Jeff. John and Jeff live directly below me, and Jon and Geoff live next door. Oh...and Jon is the AIDS comment guy of several posts ago.)

TI feel as though I knew these guys, once upon a time and long, long ago. It's an odd, creepy feeling...because being with them is often like listening to offensive Steve Z*nder-Dan Austin conversations, crossed with quick, witty John Henry-Nathan Thomas banter. (It doesn't help that John - the Alaskan John - could be Nathan Thomas's blond, better-dressed twin. They have the same jaw, the same mouths, the same teeth, the same build, the same height, similar facial expressions...it's unsettling.) Whenever I eat with these guys, it's as though I've been transported back to the high school lunch table, but in an alternate universe.

They can't understand why I'm not traumatized by their conversations; yesterday, I got the impression that they were trying especially hard to offend me. Sorry, boys, but Staniel ruined me. I am non-shockable when it comes to verbal commentary. This group hasn't come close to topping Steve's fictional and graphic account of losing his virginity at the age of six to the elementary school janitor. (That particular monologue included a vivid description of the old janitor's wrinkly, bloody dick. I mean...it would take a lot to top that one.) (Urs, do you remember that one? ACTUALLY...now that I think about it, Steve WROTE that story in the paper-version of 17 Bottles Of during the orchestra trip to Chicago.)

Anyway...I just needed to share that with you kids. Every night at dinner I feel as though I've already lived through several alternate versions of that particular meal. Like I said - these boys have both Steve and Dan's vulgarity and John and Nathan's perfect timing and lack of hesitation - and Steve, Dan, John, and Nathan's ability to keep a straight face. It's...weird. It creeps me out.

Is the world really so small and uninteresting that it has to start recycling my past experiences already? I'm only 23 for fuck's sake! Shouldn't a lot more happen to me before it all starts to look the same?